Let’s Give it Another GO!
It’s the final countdown (BA-NA-NA-NA, BA-NA-NA-NA-NA)
-Europe
OK! I am totally psyched! This is my year! This is the year I make it all happen! Let’s see…
Physical Goals: check
Scholastic Goals: check
Financial Goals: check
Social Goals: check
Spiritual Goals: check
Mental Goals: check
All goals are anally divided up into weekly, monthly, and yearly segments. This is my year! I own this year! I will not deviate from the plan! I am getting so pumped! What’s that One Republic song…
“I did it all
I owned every second that this world could give
I saw so many places”
Yeah baby! Crank that song up! I know it is going to be tough, but if I just make the sacrifices, I will be the man at the end of this year! I can visualize this time next year when all my goals are complete. How thin I look, how much money is in the bank, and how good I feel! I rule the world!
“The things that I did
Yeah, with every broken bone
I swear I lived”
–One Republic
Keep It Together Man
2009: I started working on a book. It was my own notes to myself on how to handle life as a father of an autistic child. Stepping blindly into the world of special needs is not easy, and I found writing about it therapeutic. It also helped me learn and internalize how to conduct myself in everyday situations. I read that if I share my goal with someone I am more likely to accomplish it. So I told my wife that I added a goal to my list for the year: Write and publish, Keep It Together Man.
2010: DAGNABIT (crusty old man voice)! I was not able to complete the book last year because my motivation was all about me. There must be a higher purpose. I realized I was in a pool of parents swimming in the murky waters of “handicap harbor.” Thousands of parents were having trouble seeing their way just like me. To write this book only for me would be selfish. I highlighted it as my primary goal this year! I was pumped and determined to get it done. I read that if you do the same thing, you will get the same results. So I changed my habits and scheduled time to research and write.
2011: HAY CARAMBA (Bart Simpson voice)! Why can’t I get it done? My other son was recently diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Now I have two boys on the autism spectrum and double the motivation to get it done. I read that the more motivation you have, the more likely you will accomplish your goal. How much more motivation do I need than two special needs kids?! This year for sure!
2012: SON OF A NUTCRACKER (Buddy voice)! This is painful. 45% of all Americans make New Year’s resolutions. That’s more people than watch the Super Bowl. Only 8% of those people, accomplish it! (http://www.statisticbrain.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/) I feel like the poster boy for that stat. How many of my goals did I accomplish every year anyway? I read that if I have a goal I really want to accomplish, to make it my only goal. I threw out all other goals to focus on getting my book done. I took a Sharpie and wrote my one goal for the year: Goals for 2012 PUBLISH MY FIRST BOOK. I posted it on the inside wall of my desk in my executive office (AKA the garage)
2013: JUMPIN JEHOSEPHAT! Would I be better off having never set this stinkin’ goal? Probably. Who is going to read this thing anyway? Nobody. This sucks. The thousands who buy gym memberships in January, then fall off the wagon in March are no better off than when they started. Many are worse because they are so depressed they cannot keep a simple New Year’s resolution! I am no different as I have been working on this book for four years now! Writing is no longer enjoyable and I am convinced this was just a stupid idea. Why can’t I finish it? This is depressing! I read that sometimes you have to grit it out. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I cross off the two at the end of 2012 and insert a three.
2014: DANG! Where did last year go? My life is a roller coaster of epic peaks and treacherous valleys. But I practice the principles I write about and life is beautiful despite its challenges. Last year my wife gave birth to our sweet Eli, who has Down syndrome. Now I have three IEP’s and more motivation to write than ever. Seriously, is there anyone more qualified to write this book than me? Then why can’t I get it done?! It was meant to be, right? I licked my wounds from last year’s failure and took a good look in the mirror. I am a changed man! I am passionate about families with special needs. My heart aches and rejoices for them! I want so badly to share our experiences with others and help lighten their loads. I read that I need to look fear in the face and not be scared of stepping outside of my comfort zone. Done! This is my year! I cross off the three at the end of 2013 and insert a four.
2015: I have learned a valuable lesson. And that is, you can write goals down, tell friends, find motivation, change behaviors, be as determined as anyone, but life happens. So don’t beat yourself up if your resolution is not on your yearly timeline. Is it worth sacrificing time with your kids and wife to obtain your reward? Not for me. What about work or church or extracurricular activities that you need? Nope. I sacrifice screen time, idle time, social events, a little sleep, comfort, and activities I enjoy but do not need. Maybe goals are not for everyone, but they are for me and probably for you too. My kids laugh at my goal sheet posted at my desk, but they know I will get it done. I read that I need support to accomplish my resolution. My kids and wife have not given up on me! With renewed hope I cross off the four at the end of 2014 and insert a five.
2016: I can see the light at the end of the tunnel! It feels good, really good! A little more grind and a little more sacrifice and a little help and it’s done. I read that I should enjoy the ride, and I am. I cross off the five at the end of 2015 and insert a six.
Today’s the Day!
I used to work for a man named Mel Fisher, who made a goal to find a lost Spanish galleon from the 17th century. Originally, he was sure it would take him six months. He recited “Today’s the Day” every day for 17 years until he accomplished his goal. There were 1,000 unrelenting obstacles thrown his way during those 17 years. He could have let any one of those detour or get the better of him, but he did not. He never lost sight of the ultimate outcome.
And that is the key. You might get off track, lose your way, become depressed, or think it was a bad idea to begin with. But there is real growth when you challenge yourself again and again. And when you still cannot accomplish your goal and your due date has passed, you keep at it again and again and again! It’s all right! You can do that! It is your goal, and you make the rules.
“Today’s the day” came for me on October 1st of 2016 when I published my first book: Keep it Together Man, For Dads with a Special Kid. Originally, I was sure I could write it in six months. Turns out it only took me seven years. Was it less satisfying because it took me longer? No, just the opposite. Like a lot of resolutions, I did not understand what a daunting task it was. I did not foresee the blocks, distractions and grind that life would throw at me. I also failed to realize the accomplishment would be far more rewarding to myself and others.
Maybe you need to try again at that resolution you set last year or resurrect that project you quit 20 years ago. Taking those on again will increase your motivation, optimism, and achievements. There is nothing like the thrill of victory or the sense of accomplishment. Let’s give it another go! Today’s the day!
Rick Daynes
keepittogetherman.org
